Running away from home. Just like kids.

[neverwrongagent]

Briefings with Saul were getting more and more tense. Carrie could feel the strain on all of them as a real, palpable thing. Beside her, no one had ever had much faith in Brody, which was largely her fault. How could she explain her change of heart without explaining it was exactly that. What was harder was not telling him about how bad it was. Every time she was vague it was a physical pain.

The final straw was a heated conversation about what they would do if he were found out, revealed to be on a mission. They had escape plans, but it was clear very few people in that room gave a damn if they worked. Or if they even existed. She'd been through hell for the man they were dismissing like so much dross and all because... She wasn't that sure why because at this point. It was about Saul, really, and she knew that. That's why when he made a passing comment that made it sound damn like he'd made his decision and Brody didn't figure into it at all, she felt her stomach lurch so badly she almost had to leave the room.

She didn't go to him that night, that would be stupid. She waited a day, all of which was spent wondering when she would throw up. She got there late, just before dark, and sat back to watch the men finish up before meal break. He looked good. Better than when she saw him last, even.

Comments

[posterboymarine]

He looked over his shoulder with a raise eyebrow. "Oh yeah? After I get back?"

[neverwrongagent]

She nodded, smiling a little nervously. "It could be nice." She let herself think about that for a moment, think about how they were when they were really alone. "Might be really nice."

[posterboymarine]

"Babe, you are the only person who believes I'm coming back." He pulled back from the window and looked at her. "Means a lot that you still believe it."

[neverwrongagent]

She sighed softly and looked away. "You don't believe it." It was pointedly not a question. "I do. I believe that if we're working toward the same goal, we can do anything."

[posterboymarine]

"Maybe if the whole world wasn't against us..." He moved away from the window and back to the bed. His hand rested on her shoulder and he squeezed briefly. "You..." He sighed. "You deserve better then trying to save me, you know."

[neverwrongagent]

She opened her mouth to give him an argument, then groaned and shook her head. "Give it a rest, okay? I'm a lunatic fuck up. I have no idea what I deserve. I only know what I want."

[posterboymarine]

He nodded. "Yes, ma'am." Of course, now he was left with nothing to say. There were no more safe topics. He turned his attention to his now cold food and sat back down in front of it. He knew he needed to eat or she was going to hurt him.

[neverwrongagent]

She stared at her plate for a long moment before speaking softly. "Did you like the cabin? Being by the lake, I mean."

[posterboymarine]

The question caught him off guard and he nodded without thinking. "It's quiet there."

[neverwrongagent]

"So not right in town? Someplace in Virginia or Maryland?" She swallowed hard. "With woods by a lake?"

[posterboymarine]

"Woods by a lake. I don't care where." He enjoyed just thinking about it for a few moments, a slight smile playing over his lips.

[neverwrongagent]

She reached out and petted his hair for a while, smiling softly before she took the plunge she knew she needed to. "I don't like the plan."

[posterboymarine]

"And you think I do?" He leaned into her touch all the same, even if he was being a little antagonistic. "The plan is shit."

[neverwrongagent]

"It's not shi--" She groaned softly. "It has flaws, but I'm figuring out that most of them are at the end. And that...it scares me."

[posterboymarine]

"It's shit. If the end has flaws, the whole thing has flaws. The end is shit, the whole thing is shit." He huffed hard out his nose, then shook his head. "Sorry."

[neverwrongagent]

She closed her eyes tightly and hung her head. He was right which was why she'd brought it up. "I.. The idea of leaving you so open makes me sick." She shook her head hard. "I wish I could wisk you away."

[posterboymarine]

"That would be nice. Leave, both of us. There no point in trying to clear my name now. We could just go." Which was a complete pipe dream.

[neverwrongagent]

"Okay." The words were out before she thought about them. She swallowed hard before looking back at him. "We could."

[posterboymarine]

He stared at her. That was all he could do. She could not possibly be serious. She loved her job, it was her life. Sure, she'd said she was giving it up for him once before, but that had been different. He wasn't on the run, then.

[neverwrongagent]

She shrugged. "We don't have a lot of options. None of them good. This one has the best chance of us both wa--living." She met his eyes. "I'm fond of living."

[posterboymarine]

He exhaled hard and looked away. "They'll never let me go."

[neverwrongagent]

She nodded slowly, pushing back the part of that she'd had a hand in. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft and sad. "And I won't let them send you into yet another hell. What? A third? No way."

[posterboymarine]

Given that she was the one they'd sent in to get him to agree to this whole thing in the first place, his initial thought was to call her on it. But she was trying. And that was far more important then laying the blame, as tempting as it was.

"You don't appear to have much say in it."

[neverwrongagent]

She'd have taken the criticism, but not for long. It didn't move them forward. He could yell at her for it later. "I can say all I want, and I do, but that doesn't mean anyone gives a fuck what I say. I'm kind of used to that, but now it matters."

She exhaled slowly. "Do you want to know my new plan?"

[posterboymarine]

"I'd love to hear your new plan." He took another bite, then busied himself clearing off the bed. He was listening, he just couldn't sit still.