We all fall down

[neverwrongagent]

Carrie would remember the next few days as some of the best of her life. She was living with a man she was more comfortable with than she could have imagined, working together for a common goal. Even the visit with his kids went well. She gave him most of Saturday with just them, showing up at dinner time with pizza and cookies. They played board games and chased around her little house until it was time for him to take them back. Then it all went to hell.

They finally found evidence that Walker had met someone on one of his random seeming runs around the District. Before they could act on it, a series of small bombs took out three Metro buses as they approached the city center. A half dozen people were killed, twice that were injured. Had it been one bomb, it would have been bad enough, but three in a concert was particularly frightening for the city. It also put CIA on high alert. The work they'd been doing before was nothing compared to the sudden anger and frustration everyone showed. Plenty of people looked at Brody, and Carrie, as though they'd done something wrong. Brody should have come forward sooner. Carrie shouldn't have trusted him so much. Maybe if they'd come up for air this wouldn't have happened.

Carrie though all that and more, although she never really blamed Brody. At least, not any more than she blamed any of them for missing it. They'd messed up, not gotten to the answer fast enough. For her, everything else fell away. The work was everything and she spent as many hours as she was allowed at work. She had to be shoehorned out of the building to go home and rest, but when she was there she didn't sleep. She only ate when someone put food in front of her. This was the Carrie Brody had never seen, that her family worried about, that Carrie held on a tight leash.

She paced her dining platform, looking at the notes and schedules she had posted to her wall, sure she was still missing something crucial. She had music playing, the kind of jazz that normally settled her, but it wasn't doing shit and she could feel her skin start to crawl, but she had to work, had to figure out where they'd gone wrong.

Comments

[posterboymarine]

It was like going back to ground zero. No one trusted him again. He was almost out in the cold. Carrie fought for him, but there finally came a point where he couldn't take it anymore.

He spent more time trying to get back to fight weight. He drowned out things with sweat. He started spending time on the range. So he managed to do a damn good job of missing Carrie's initial missteps, despite the fact that he had been warned.

This particular evening, he came back from the range thinking about something else entirely. It took him a moment to noticed the pacing. He still had his rifle case slung and he reeked of cordite and sweat. He really wanted a drink and was halfway to getting it poured before he realized she hadn't really noticed him.

"Carrie?"

[neverwrongagent]

She acknowledged him, even turned and waved a hand at him, then went back to what she was doing. One after another, she touched the pictures she had up of bus stops where the bombs went off. All of them on routes Walker had ridden, but not at times he'd been there. And the people they'd identified as his collaborators had never been there. There was no message to the spots, not that she could see yet.

A moment later she turned around, saw him, and jumped a little. "Oh, you're back."

[posterboymarine]

He nodded, then downed his drink. "No progress, I see." It wasn't a question. He could see the wheels spinning, searching for traction.

He even considered pouring her a drink, then thought better of it. "I'm ordering Indian. Spicy or not?"

[neverwrongagent]

She looked at him or a long moment, then shook her head. "Not hungry." She shrugged. "I'll have what you're having." Which she didn't really have any intention of eating. He was right, there hadn't been any progress. It was maddening. She went to fuss with the CD player, looking for a different album. "Lamb. Lamb would be good."

[posterboymarine]

That was more of an answer than he was expecting, so he went with it. As he went upstairs, he called in the order. Then he dumped his rifle in the closet and washed his face and hands.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Should be here soon. Did you eat lunch?"

[neverwrongagent]

She leaned into him for an instant, but she couldn't stand to be still that long. At least she patted his arm lightly before moving away again. She ran her fingers along one of the lines she had drawn connecting Walker with one of the bomb sites. "Saul brought me something." She ate a few bites.

[posterboymarine]

He stepped back to just watch her for a few moments, trying to decide what to do. Then he hit their old fallback and went back into the kitchen.

He returned to her a few moments later with a glass of wine. "Tell me what you're seeing."

[neverwrongagent]

She took the glass from him and downed half of it without thinking, then handed it back to him. Shaking her head, she tried to explain. Saul hadn't seen what she saw either. "There are holes. Empty spaces. They need to be filled." She shook her head. "Pockets. Voids."

[posterboymarine]

He set her glass down, then moved to stand next to her. Just because Saul hadn't seen it didn't mean he wouldn't. He was the one who'd given them the routes in the first place.

"Show me one."

[neverwrongagent]

Showing him meant starting at one side, tracing routes and times, the slamming her hand on the spot where she saw the void. Then she followed another line that looped around to the same spot. She slammed it with her flat hand again. "Void."

[posterboymarine]

He watched her and was about to say something when the food arrived. He left her to deal with that.

He returned a few minutes later with some food on a single plate. He wasn't going to make her sit down, but he was going to make her eat.

"How far back have you gone?"

[neverwrongagent]

He had the right idea taking care of her. Don't ask, just do. She took the plate, eating automatically. "Far back as we have, when you got back." She had everything they had. "Gets dark too far back."

[posterboymarine]

He pondered that for a few moments. "Have they expanded the net of contacts? Your voids are just dark spots. Haven't found the right light yet." He finished off her wine, then went to get the bottle and refill the glass.

Then he went and found his maps and notes, taking up most of the table. If she was going to insist on working, he would, too. So long as she ate.

[neverwrongagent]

She ate because the plate was in her hand. He could have handed her spam on a shingle and she'd have eaten it. The minute his maps were down, though, she abandoned the plate. She went from map to wall to map. She could see the voids like living things and she wanted to chase them. Finally she threw her hands up. "I'm going to set fire to something to find the right light."

[posterboymarine]

He finished the food on the plate, then pulled her down into his lap. "We aren't to the fire stage yet, babe." Then he handed her the wine glass. In order to get her to take a moment and just drink, he pointed out something on the map that wasn't on her wall.

[neverwrongagent]

She waved the hand with the glass in it so dramatically that she almost sloshed wine on the maps. What he pointed out didn't so much light her void as move it along her internal map. That was enough to have her up off his lap again, going to her wall to find something that would move it even further. Sitting still was impossible.

[posterboymarine]

He didn't need her to sit still. He just needed her to eat and drink. As long as she kept doing that, he would let her work.

When she got up, he went to get more food. Then he stood next to her, holding the plate in her direction, as he looked at her new notes. Fully expecting her to eat because it was in front of her, he pointed something else out for her on the wall.

[neverwrongagent]

Routine was a marvelous thing. She took the plate and ate, at least for a little while. Then she jumped to grab something off her wall that matched something on his map. Things got brighter for a moment, then she wasn't sure. With the plate still in her hand, she started pacing again. It was like watching a caged animal.

[posterboymarine]

He took the plate from her on a pass and handed her the wine as she came back by. Then he returned to his maps to see what she had changed. Then he leaned back in the chair, in thought, absently finishing the bits of lamb.

[neverwrongagent]

The changes she made were vivid to her, subtle at best to most others. Still, there were changes being made, connections that made things clearer. There was some piece of information they just didn't have yet that was crucial. Someone or something that wasn't in the picture yet. When the glass of wine was empty, she stared at it. "Need to bug Walker. Bug his house. His car. His...dick, I don't know."

[posterboymarine]

Brody had to agree with that. "So, let's get him bugged. I can get him out of the house, if you can get someone in." He plucked the glass from her hand, then took it and squeezed so she'd look at him.

[neverwrongagent]

The solid contact got her attention for a long enough for her to look at him. "To bug his dick?" It was nearly a serious question. "That would be awkward." For a moment she was back, that flash of humor, then she was gone again, looking at the maps.

[posterboymarine]

"No. Not bugging his dick." He rolled his eyes at her, even though she wasn't looking. "But his house. It's a start." He squeezed her hand again. "Come here a minute. I want to show you something."

[neverwrongagent]

She was already preparing the pitch to Saul when he pulled at her. She turned and looked up at him, eyes big. "What?" She looked around him as if she could spot it. "Did I miss something else?

[posterboymarine]

He cupped her cheek and kissed her softly. "You need a change of scenery. We're going to go for a run, then come back and look at this again. No arguing."