This is spying. Isn't it FUN?

[neverwrongagent]

Brody attending the meeting Walker had so casually mentioned turned into a three ring circus. More than one person involved was convinced the whole thing was a wild goose chase, including Carrie occasionally. If she hadn't seen Walker as up close and personal as she had when they were first rescued, she could have been convinced. Maybe sending Brody to a regular meeting for returning vets who were also Muslim was just a kind of fuck you from a man who felt he'd been betrayed by a brother soldier. Or it could be something much more sinister. The problem was, no one could really figure out what that sinister was supposed to be. Carrie continued to maintain that Brody had no idea what was going on.

The questions Brody faced right after the meeting ranged from if he knew any of the people there already to how was he planning to overthrow the US government. When the questions headed that way a majority of the time, Carrie called foul and got Brody out of there. With full understanding of the irony involved, they had decided that the cover that would work best with his family was that he was working with other vets on integrating back into the world. Carrie would have felt a lot worse about that if it was just being used to cover up them fucking around. She still felt pretty shitty about it given how much stress it was putting on him.

They took their own cars back to her place. She got there before him and immediately opened a fresh bottle of wine, leaving a full glass on the counter for him, then she went upstairs to change into something decidedly less official looking.

Comments

[posterboymarine]

He smiled, nuzzling her hair as she settled. There would be plenty of time to think. Later. Now he just wanted to let his mind wander some.

After a little while, he started talking about how'd he'd ended up in the Marines, even though she had the information already. All the pages in a file couldn't convey how much he'd actually liked what he was doing. He rambled on about basic, then about SOI, and being selected for SSBC. Once he started to talk about SSBC, he sounded sane and truly happy with his work for the first time since he'd been rescued.

[neverwrongagent]

Words on a page were never the same as hearing it from the source. It might not have looked like she was listening that closely, but she drank in every word like it was the cleanest oxygen. A lot of men in his position wouldn't have still wanted anything to do with that work that had gotten him captured. He really was like her in that way.

In the end, she lifted her head and kissed him with great tenderness. "You know something?" She kissed him again. "I love you."

[posterboymarine]

He pressed into the kiss, then grinned. "Well, you are kinda weird. Maybe even crazy." His fingers moved along her spine before he spoke again. "I always wanted to go back, you know. Do Team Leader or Urban school. I was even pushing to go train with Israelis right before I met you."

[neverwrongagent]

She pushed down the flash of guilt that came with keeping her secret in favor of rolling her eyes slightly. "You have no idea." But then he confirmed the growing idea she had and she nodded. "You've put in too much to walk away from it. And you're good." She smiled faintly. "I knew it when I met you, could tell, but then I looked you up."

[posterboymarine]

"You looked me up? Well, I guess I did make an impression then." He rubbed her back some more. "I was waiting for your promised reassignment when we were finally sent out. I was kind of looking forward to watching over a spy."

[neverwrongagent]

She had to look away from him for a moment. That was a guilt she couldn't hide. Her voice was tight when she answered. "I was all set to. Got called out, was working on the pitch, lining it up for when I got back--" She shook her head. "I wasn't fast enough. I can't tell you how sorry I am."

[posterboymarine]

He turned her head back toward him and kissed her. "Baby, I'm not faulting you at all. You don't need to apologize. You don't even know if it would have worked."

[neverwrongagent]

"It would have worked. I could have done it." She shrugged weakly. "I'm ridiculously stubborn, if you haven't noticed that." She licked her lips and shrugged again. "I wanted to. Really did. We could have taken that place by storm, you and me." She smiled. "Guess we'll have to do it now?"

[posterboymarine]

"Guess we will." It was so much wishful thinking, but he didn't care. It was more hope than he'd had in a long time. It made it seem worth it, what they were doing regarding Walker, if it meant he could lead a normal life.

[neverwrongagent]

She let herself think about it for a minute, about what they could be, but then that assumed she stayed stable for a good long time. Of course, she didn't drink as much around him and she slept like the dead, both of which were outstanding for keeping her on the straight and true. "It's a deal."

[posterboymarine]

He laughed softly. "I'm glad we're agreed, then." He pulled her into another kiss, then settled under her and closed his eyes. He started talking again, telling stories. It felt a little like confession and like bragging, all at the same time.

[neverwrongagent]

This time she responded as he talked, asking questions and throwing in her own little stories. They'd never dated, after all, so this kind of casual getting to know each other just hadn't happened. She gave him grief for some of the bragging, at the same time encouraging him to do more. She kept waiting for it to feel forced, but it didn't. "And then he repeated it in Arabic. Because, of course, that makes all the difference."

[posterboymarine]

"All the difference in the world. The first word any of us learned once we were in country was yalla, because, you know, it makes all the difference. The guns and the frantic handwaving, nope. Yalla, absolutely." He rolled his eyes at that. But it also set off a round of comparing slang.

[neverwrongagent]

There were some interesting differences in what they knew, which lead her to decided that with a few choice exceptions, he'd met a better class of people over there than she had. Finally she groaned and patted his belly. "We should eat. And walk more." Not that she really wanted to leave, but she was getting hungry.

[posterboymarine]

Laughing, he nodded. "Probably, yes." He flailed back, reaching for the bag. "Pudding?"

[neverwrongagent]

She started laughing again and it was a while before she could tell him better to start with a sandwich. They kept swapping stories during the meal, but when she got them moving toward the lake they let the conversation die off in favor of listening to the birds and holding hands. For her part, she had a lot to process and she was still deciding if she was going to ask him the questions she still had floating about.

They got down to the water's edge, to a random dock that no longer had a cabin associated with it, and she kicked off her shoes so she could dangle her toes in the water. "Can I ask you about Jessica?" Not your wife, but Jessica.

[posterboymarine]

He sat down next to her and shrugged. They were clearly in the 'getting to know you' part of the trip, so questions about his wife were fair game. "I'll answer as best I can."

[neverwrongagent]

As the other woman, she couldn't ask directly about their sex life, no matter how badly she wanted to know. "How are you getting along? You're still gone a lot without being able to say why. That's got to be a strain."

[posterboymarine]

He exhaled and looked out over the lake. "She doesn't like it. She says it's better that I'm home and gone a lot, then still being MIA. But I'm not sure I believe it. At least when I was missing, I was missing. Now I'm home, but I'm not really home." He shrugged as he continued to watch the lake. "She's better right when I come back, because I'm better. But I still can't sleep in the same bed. I still am not comfortable naked around her. And I still wake up screaming in the night, if I get to sleep at all."

He rubbed his face, then looked at her. "Sometimes, I think she'd be happier if I just wasn't there. I think that's why she lets me leave with so little question."

[neverwrongagent]

He didn't sleep in the same bed as his wife, but he mostly easily napped around her. He was better after being with her. None of which was a change, really, from right after he'd gotten back. Every time she asked, she thought she'd get a different kind of answer, but it almost sounded like it was getting worse. "But she hasn't said that, has she? Has she said anything?"

[posterboymarine]

"She told me I should go back to my unit, that it would be best for me to get back to normal." He snorted. "Back to normal, whatever the hell that is. She said she and the kids could keep staying with my mother until I find out if I'm going to be deployed again."

[neverwrongagent]

That wasn't someone who wanted to be with him. Carrie hadn't ever lived with him and she couldn't stand the idea of him going so far away. She'd had one night with him and then longed for him when he was missing. Admittedly, Carrie knew she got a little obsessive about things, but still. Accepting you lived with a Marine who could be in danger again was one thing, but practically sending him away was another.

"Normal." She snorted softly. "I lost touch with that one a long time ago."

[posterboymarine]

"Normal for her is me being gone. Normal for me... Well, I don't know what that is anymore."

[neverwrongagent]

She sighed softly. Normal for him was stress, uncertainty and doubt. None of which was good for the mind. "I'm here. That's starting to be normal, scary, huh?"

[posterboymarine]

"It is, yes. You are here." It was also weird, that this woman he'd meet in the sandbox seemed to care more for him then his own wife.