Rescued?

[neverwrongagent]

When the posters went up showing the two members of the Marine sniper team who'd gone missing, Carrie Mathison stood and stared at them. She didn't see two Marines in their uniforms, though, she saw only one of them half dressed on a rooftop looking up at the blanket of stars. She saw a sweet smile from a man who was too far from home and was trying to hold onto his humanity. Every time she passed the posters, even if she didn't turn to look, she was as aware of them as if someone had reached out and grabbed her. Months went by and the sensation never weakened.

Then came word that they'd been found, that two Marines had been found in neighboring camps. Both men were in rough shape: dehydrated, beaten and demoralized. One was worse than the other, but first reports didn't make it clear which it was and Carrie held her breath until she knew that Brody was in better physical shape. Not that she asked or spoke to anyone about knowing him. The moment she said a word, they'd pull her out of it all and that wasn't happening.

The men were kept apart while they were cleaned up. Carrie read both files, but it was Brody's she kept going over and over in her head. She knew every detail of what they'd found out so far. On the outside it probably seemed cruel to interrogate the men so soon, but the sooner they got it done, the better. These men were headed home, at least for a while, and it would be harder to get solid information from them when they were there.

It wasn't until minutes before she walked into the room that Carrie knew for sure which man she was going to debrief. She was ready to bounce out of her skin by the time she walked in, a feeling that vanished immediately when she saw him. "Sergeant Brody? I'm Carrie Mathison. I'm here to ask you some questions."

Comments

[neverwrongagent]

Carrie slept in a way she didn't unless she was actually well medicated. Going slack against him, she was able to let her body recharge and calm her mind. She did dream, but the images were mostly of the man laying beside her. The images weren't just of things they'd done, but of normal domestic moments, the kinds of things they'd never get.

[posterboymarine]

He slept for hours, tucked safely against her. It was finally the darkness of the that woke him. He shifted toward her, grumbling softly as he wrapped his arms around her. He did not want to face the world just yet.

[neverwrongagent]

She'd started to wake a little when he moved. His grumbling was enough to reassure her that all was well and she tucked in close. "No." No, she wasn't ready to get up. No, he couldn't go yet. No, she wasn't ready to talk yet. She kissed his chest, then repeated the single word.

[posterboymarine]

He wasn't sure what she was saying no to, but he didn't question it. He just tucked in a little more and sighed softly.

[neverwrongagent]

She kept kissing, just working her way up to his jaw. "Up soon. Eventually." She groaned and nuzzled at him. "You slept?" She knew he had because she would have woken, but she wanted him to say it.

[posterboymarine]

He nodded. "I did." He shifted every more against her, giving her more to kiss. "Thank you." He ran his hands over her back, unhooking her bra without thinking about it at all.

[neverwrongagent]

She froze for a moment, then pulled back to look at him. Raising an eyebrow, she licked her lips. "Is there something else you need, Gunny?" She caressed his cheek. "I don't mind, but..." She shrugged. Being together at home, even once, was something different and she didn't want to do him harm. That didn't mean she didn't want him, she did. Badly. "If you're sure."

[posterboymarine]

I don't mind was not a ringing endorsement and he moved his hands back down her back. "Sorry." He closed his eyes and settled back. Maybe he could just go back to sleep for a little while longer.

[neverwrongagent]

She exhaled slowly and rested her head on his chest for a little while. "Nick, I'm right here. I'm not going away." It was her mantra with him, words to convince herself as well as him. "I had this wild idea that we should know what we're doing. What--what we are to each other."

There was the start of something there, some idea that had been in her dreams. "Because, fuck, I do want you. You gotta know that."

[posterboymarine]

He wanted to believe her, desperately. But she had left him. She'd left him alone to try and reintegrate into the world, and it had been going badly. He couldn't help but be upset by that, to be a little distrusting.

"Maybe you should tell me." He wasn't even sure which of her statements he was referring to anymore.

[neverwrongagent]

She pulled away from him a little, so she could see him, but she made sure to keep her hands on him. She even wrapped her leg over his. "Everything's easier over there, figuring out where I belong and how I can be useful. I know what I'm doing there." She shrugged. "Not like that back here. The rules aren't as clear."

Over there she could be his lover and they only had to hide it from her bosses because they expected her to be objective. Well, she wasn't ever that. It wasn't how she worked. Back in the world there was his wife and there were his kids. And her bosses, but that was mostly solved. "Didn't think what I promised there would be needed here." She'd been wrong about that one.

[posterboymarine]

He frowned. "You thought I'd just come back here and it would all be okay?" Swallowing hard, he looked away. "Guess I'm not surprised. Everyone thought that. Like by getting on that plane it would all just go away, like it never happened. Like I'd be able to explain why I keep the lights on or why I won't take my shirt off unless I'm alone. Why I have to know what's going on around me all the time, to the point that I'm never focused on anything."

With a shudder, he clenched one hand into a fist on her back. "They don't tell you how to handle any of that. And they don't tell your family what to expect."

[neverwrongagent]

She felt like he'd punched her in the gut even though she understood every word he said perfectly. Her experience wasn't his, but she still got it. She'd known over there that he needed her, but had talked herself out of his needing her at home. Maybe she'd thought that as messed up as she was, that someone had to be better at this than she was.

"You took your shirt off with me." She frowned, talking more to herself than to him. "You always did." She swallowed hard. "I'm sorry."

[posterboymarine]

She was right that he did. He'd even done it there, just a few hours earlier. But he couldn't do it at home. Not after the first time. He couldn't take the look of disgust that he got from his wife, even when she tried to hide it. And he was terrified of scaring his children. Which all conspired to leave him alone while surrounded by people.

"Don't do that. Everyone fucking does that. They apologize for everything, as if the truth of a situation is going to break me more." As if he could be broken more.

[neverwrongagent]

"Okay, no apologies. The truth." She nodded slowly, doing calculations in her head that she couldn't possibly have explained to anyone, even him. As she ran through all the possibilities she could see, she touched his chest lightly. She did it without thinking, the one thing that was outside her thoughts and pure feeling. "I knew my place over there, knew how far I could go in being with you. Here I didn't know and so I pulled away. I've been a mistress before and I suck at it. I mean really fucking suck."

[posterboymarine]

He frowned a little. Mistress was not even what he was thinking. Not that he knew what he was thinking. He had no idea where anything was going in his life.

He touched her hair. "Carrie, I have no idea what I'm doing. With anything."

[neverwrongagent]

She leaned into his touch immediately. The way she'd sat back, her open bra slipped down off one shoulder, but she didn't grab for it. She sighed softly. "I can't tell you what to do. I'm not even sure I can help you figure it out. I complicate things."

Her hand was still on his chest and she watched her fingers for a moment. "But I won't go this time. As long as you want me, I won't go." She knew how bad an idea that was, it was part of why she'd stayed away. The longer she stayed, the more likely she was to tell him about that dream.

[posterboymarine]

It was a truly horrible idea. But when had that stopped him. He slipped her bra further down her arm, then brushed his finger over the top of her breast. "Thank you."

[neverwrongagent]

Her lips parted slightly, a moan escaping that kept her from saying something insane like, Leave your wife and be with me. or Never leave here and everything will be fine. At the same time she was pretty convinced that her moan said one of those things and she shuddered hard. "Feels so good."

[posterboymarine]

"I don't want to think anymore right now." He brushed his fingertip over her nipple, then touched her lips. "Take your clothes off."

[neverwrongagent]

Her hand clenched on his chest as she nodded firmly. Despite her agreement, it took her a moment to put that intention into action. She slipped the rest of the way out of her bra, then squirmed to get out of her panties. Naked with him was the easiest thing.

[posterboymarine]

Naked had been easiest for them for awhile now. He got out of the last of his own clothes, then dragged her back to his chest. He started kissing her hair and rubbing her back. He just needed to connect, to feel whole again for a little while.

[neverwrongagent]

Carrie shifted in his arms so she could keep her hands on him as they cuddled. There would be more to it soon, if their history meant anything, but for the moment that's what it was. Warm bodies against each other. Two people being completely present for each other.

She nuzzled at his neck. "Might say you should always be naked around me. So I can touch you any time we want, right away."

[posterboymarine]

"We'd never be able to be in public. But I think I'm okay with that." While he continued to kiss her hair, his hands moved over her back, tracing her spine. They'd spent a lot of time together before coming home, but he'd not really taken the chance to just touch her without rushing on to the next thing.

Since he was already AWOL from home, there was no reason to rush.

[neverwrongagent]

She snorted. "I meant here in my house, not in general." Not that there was any good way they could be in public now anyway. She arched toward him, hooking her leg over his so she could rock slowly. "Never did have the chance to be naked for long periods."