neverwrongagent | Rescued?

Entry tags:

au,
brody,
rp

Rescued?

When the posters went up showing the two members of the Marine sniper team who'd gone missing, Carrie Mathison stood and stared at them. She didn't see two Marines in their uniforms, though, she saw only one of them half dressed on a rooftop looking up at the blanket of stars. She saw a sweet smile from a man who was too far from home and was trying to hold onto his humanity. Every time she passed the posters, even if she didn't turn to look, she was as aware of them as if someone had reached out and grabbed her. Months went by and the sensation never weakened.

Then came word that they'd been found, that two Marines had been found in neighboring camps. Both men were in rough shape: dehydrated, beaten and demoralized. One was worse than the other, but first reports didn't make it clear which it was and Carrie held her breath until she knew that Brody was in better physical shape. Not that she asked or spoke to anyone about knowing him. The moment she said a word, they'd pull her out of it all and that wasn't happening.

The men were kept apart while they were cleaned up. Carrie read both files, but it was Brody's she kept going over and over in her head. She knew every detail of what they'd found out so far. On the outside it probably seemed cruel to interrogate the men so soon, but the sooner they got it done, the better. These men were headed home, at least for a while, and it would be harder to get solid information from them when they were there.

It wasn't until minutes before she walked into the room that Carrie knew for sure which man she was going to debrief. She was ready to bounce out of her skin by the time she walked in, a feeling that vanished immediately when she saw him. "Sergeant Brody? I'm Carrie Mathison. I'm here to ask you some questions."

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When it took him a while to get out of the car and come to her, she thought he might back out. She wouldn't have blamed him, but she would have felt even more guilty than she already did. She ran her hand over his arm as he passed her going inside. "It's not much, but it's home."

She directed him toward the kitchen where there was wine.

Wine was good. Wine would help. He found two glasses and filled them, turning to offer her one after he'd drank and refilled his own. It was sloppy, he knew, but he didn't really care. There were fewer eyes here...

"No boyfriend is going to show up and kick my ass, right?"

She very nearly asked if his wife was likely to turn up, but she managed to only snort in response. "Not even remotely likely." She shrugged. "I'm at work more than I'm here anyway."

She leaned against the counter, turning her wine glass. "When was the last time you slept even half decently?"

He sipped his second glass as he watched her. "Before I came home." Which clearly implied that he'd slept for shit without her there. It was hard for him to accept, harder for his wife, but it was the truth. He spent far more hours in the watching his wife and kids sleep then sleeping himself.

She was less surprised than she might have been, but it only added to her guilty conscience. There were a million questions she could ask about why he wasn't sleeping with his wife right there or if that wasn't maybe a sign he should definitely not sign back on with the Marines. Instead she put her glass down and took his hand. "Come on."

He gave her a confused look, then shrugged, downed his wine, and took her hand. He'd come this far, so he was in for the whole thing. Besides, downing wine like water was quickly removing the option of leaving, at least for a little while.

So, he took her hand and let her lead him where she would.

She led him upstairs to her bedroom without any explanation. The room war clean enough, but dirty clothes peeked out of the closet and there was a pile of half read books on the bedside table.

She wasn't fool enough to think that I'd they got in her bed they wouldn't eventually have sex, but that wasn't her goal. She kicked off her shoes and tossed her jacket on the dresser, then pulled down the comforter to make room for them to get in. "After we sleep, I'll make something to eat. "

He looked at her, then looked at the bed before shrugging. His shoes and jacket came off, then he took off his belt. After another moment, he just stripped out of his pants and pulled his shirt off. If he was going to sleep, he wasn't going to do it dressed.

Only then did he climb into the bed and make room for her.

She followed his lead, stripping down to her bra and panties, then slid in beside him. She curled up close, putting her head on his chest. The moment she settled there, she groaned softly. He felt good, solid and real, and she didn't pretend not to enjoy it. Her hand rested in the middle of his chest, right over his heart. "Sleep now. I'll be right here."

He placed his hand over hers and nodded. He wasn't just placating her. He believed, for the first time in weeks, that he might actually be able to really get some rest.

He closed his eyes, sighed softly, and let himself drift, trusting that she would protect him.

She couldn't completely protect his mind, but she could do as promised and stay close. Once she was sure he was at least mostly asleep, she closed her own eyes and dozed. Her problem with sleep was less bad dreams than being unable to sleep at all. She was surprised how easily she found it with him there.

Exhaustion, alcohol, and her warmth all conspired to put him to sleep. And the sleep was deep enough that he didn't dream. He didn't move even. In fact, he was so deeply asleep that even his breathing and heartbeat finally slowed to a much more normal level.

His body finally relaxed.

Carrie slept in a way she didn't unless she was actually well medicated. Going slack against him, she was able to let her body recharge and calm her mind. She did dream, but the images were mostly of the man laying beside her. The images weren't just of things they'd done, but of normal domestic moments, the kinds of things they'd never get.

He slept for hours, tucked safely against her. It was finally the darkness of the that woke him. He shifted toward her, grumbling softly as he wrapped his arms around her. He did not want to face the world just yet.

She'd started to wake a little when he moved. His grumbling was enough to reassure her that all was well and she tucked in close. "No." No, she wasn't ready to get up. No, he couldn't go yet. No, she wasn't ready to talk yet. She kissed his chest, then repeated the single word.

He wasn't sure what she was saying no to, but he didn't question it. He just tucked in a little more and sighed softly.

She kept kissing, just working her way up to his jaw. "Up soon. Eventually." She groaned and nuzzled at him. "You slept?" She knew he had because she would have woken, but she wanted him to say it.

He nodded. "I did." He shifted every more against her, giving her more to kiss. "Thank you." He ran his hands over her back, unhooking her bra without thinking about it at all.

She froze for a moment, then pulled back to look at him. Raising an eyebrow, she licked her lips. "Is there something else you need, Gunny?" She caressed his cheek. "I don't mind, but..." She shrugged. Being together at home, even once, was something different and she didn't want to do him harm. That didn't mean she didn't want him, she did. Badly. "If you're sure."

I don't mind was not a ringing endorsement and he moved his hands back down her back. "Sorry." He closed his eyes and settled back. Maybe he could just go back to sleep for a little while longer.

She exhaled slowly and rested her head on his chest for a little while. "Nick, I'm right here. I'm not going away." It was her mantra with him, words to convince herself as well as him. "I had this wild idea that we should know what we're doing. What--what we are to each other."

There was the start of something there, some idea that had been in her dreams. "Because, fuck, I do want you. You gotta know that."

He wanted to believe her, desperately. But she had left him. She'd left him alone to try and reintegrate into the world, and it had been going badly. He couldn't help but be upset by that, to be a little distrusting.

"Maybe you should tell me." He wasn't even sure which of her statements he was referring to anymore.

She pulled away from him a little, so she could see him, but she made sure to keep her hands on him. She even wrapped her leg over his. "Everything's easier over there, figuring out where I belong and how I can be useful. I know what I'm doing there." She shrugged. "Not like that back here. The rules aren't as clear."

Over there she could be his lover and they only had to hide it from her bosses because they expected her to be objective. Well, she wasn't ever that. It wasn't how she worked. Back in the world there was his wife and there were his kids. And her bosses, but that was mostly solved. "Didn't think what I promised there would be needed here." She'd been wrong about that one.

He frowned. "You thought I'd just come back here and it would all be okay?" Swallowing hard, he looked away. "Guess I'm not surprised. Everyone thought that. Like by getting on that plane it would all just go away, like it never happened. Like I'd be able to explain why I keep the lights on or why I won't take my shirt off unless I'm alone. Why I have to know what's going on around me all the time, to the point that I'm never focused on anything."

With a shudder, he clenched one hand into a fist on her back. "They don't tell you how to handle any of that. And they don't tell your family what to expect."

She felt like he'd punched her in the gut even though she understood every word he said perfectly. Her experience wasn't his, but she still got it. She'd known over there that he needed her, but had talked herself out of his needing her at home. Maybe she'd thought that as messed up as she was, that someone had to be better at this than she was.

"You took your shirt off with me." She frowned, talking more to herself than to him. "You always did." She swallowed hard. "I'm sorry."

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