Running away from home. Just like kids.

[neverwrongagent]

Briefings with Saul were getting more and more tense. Carrie could feel the strain on all of them as a real, palpable thing. Beside her, no one had ever had much faith in Brody, which was largely her fault. How could she explain her change of heart without explaining it was exactly that. What was harder was not telling him about how bad it was. Every time she was vague it was a physical pain.

The final straw was a heated conversation about what they would do if he were found out, revealed to be on a mission. They had escape plans, but it was clear very few people in that room gave a damn if they worked. Or if they even existed. She'd been through hell for the man they were dismissing like so much dross and all because... She wasn't that sure why because at this point. It was about Saul, really, and she knew that. That's why when he made a passing comment that made it sound damn like he'd made his decision and Brody didn't figure into it at all, she felt her stomach lurch so badly she almost had to leave the room.

She didn't go to him that night, that would be stupid. She waited a day, all of which was spent wondering when she would throw up. She got there late, just before dark, and sat back to watch the men finish up before meal break. He looked good. Better than when she saw him last, even.

Comments

[neverwrongagent]

She shrugged. "Just thinking about what we really need. We don't need a third bedroom." Not for a while anyway. If it was real. "We both need spaces to retreat to, sometimes."

She really wasn't lying to him. Exactly.

[posterboymarine]

He still wasn't convinced, but he decided to bide his time, for a few minutes, and not pressed. He rubbed her back and sighed softly. "We do, yes."

[neverwrongagent]

She was aware he was backing off and she sighed softly. She had to wrap her own mind around things before she could say anything. It had gotten pushed back so far with the whole running away thing. She shifted up to kiss him gently. "We'll make it right."

[posterboymarine]

He nodded again. "We have to." They didn't really have a choice. If they didn't make it right, they'd end up in prison, or dead. He wasn't very keen on either of those things.

[neverwrongagent]

"Yeah, we do." That came out with more force than she intended and she kissed him firmly to blunt the impact some. When she pulled back, she smiled at him. "It'll be nice. Normal."

[posterboymarine]

"Normal? I don't even know what that is anymore." Not that he ever necessarily did. But now it was a completely foreign concept, painfully so. He sighed and looked away, his eyes closing to shut out the world for a moment, before it got too overwhelming.

[neverwrongagent]

He had a better idea of it than she did, but he probably wouldn't agree. It didn't matter. What they had now was totally normal in some ways. They needed to concentrate on those. They were together. They were building a future. That was what mattered. "We'll make it. Even after we figure out normal."

[posterboymarine]

He nodded without opening his eyes. "We'll try, that's for sure." Because they couldn't do anything else.

[neverwrongagent]

She didn't want to press or make a big deal of anything. He was trying. She nuzzled at his chest, then rested her head on him and groaned softly. "I need sleep." She looked up at him. "If you go, don't go far?" She didn't think, she hoped, that he'd use again. But she knew he was having a hard time and moving helped.

[posterboymarine]

He pet her hair, then shifted down some, so that if, when, he got up he wouldn't wake her. "I'll stay as close as I can." Which was definitely not a commitment to anything.

[neverwrongagent]

She read that loud and clear, but didn't challenge him on it. There was no point. She wasn't ever going to be able to rope him in. Even if she could, she wouldn't. Not after what he'd been through. She snuggled closer and closed her eyes. "Wake me when you get back."

[posterboymarine]

He kissed her forehead. "Yes, ma'am." He tried to settle as much as he could, so that she could sleep. And he tried very hard to be content with laying there.

But that only lasted so long. He slipped from the bed as gently as he could and headed back into the bathroom. He looked like Hell when he looked in the mirror, even paler and more worn than usual. It was a hard sight and after a few moments he turned away to find his clothes.

He wasn't going to try and score again. But he really needed a drink. And he'd seen a liquor store while they'd been out. He checked his watch, hoping it wasn't too late. Then he took a long look at Carrie, laying in that bed, and sighed again.

The need to quiet his head won out over the need to get back in bed with her. So he grabbed the room key and slipped out the door.

[neverwrongagent]

She woke when he got up, but she dozed back off when she realized he was in the john. She woke again when he opened the door. That time she didn't go right back to sleep. Instead she lay there thinking about what she could have done differently and what she needed to do next time. Because she knew there would be a next time.

As she lay there, she didn't really notice that she was starting to feel sick. She was upset enough that everything was out of whack anyway. When she finally acknowledged it, she had to race to the bathroom to puke. Sitting beside the toilet, she groaned. "Thought that was supposed to happen in the morning."

[posterboymarine]

Despite the pull to find more illegal drugs, he settled for a small bottle of vodka and a bottle of soda. The vodka was for him, the soda for her. At the last minute, he stopped into the gas station right near the motel and bought the least pathetic flower in the plastic stand next to the register.

When he got back, he let himself into the room as quietly as he could.

[neverwrongagent]

She'd cleaned herself up and made it back into bed by the time he got back. When the door opened, she jumped in surprise and put a hand over her belly as it roiled again. This was supposed to be over. She looked up at him and smiled. "Hey."

[posterboymarine]

He noticed her holding her stomach and came to sit next to her. He offered her the flower and set the soda where she could reach it. "You okay, baby?"

[neverwrongagent]

She went for the soda so quickly that her stomach almost revolted again. Sitting back, she took slow sips. "Yeah, I'm fine. Stomach's upset." She patted his thigh. Hopefully he would write it off as stress.

She sniffed the flower, which had a surprisingly nice scent for such a lowly bloom, and smiled her gratitude. "Thank you for thinking of it."

[posterboymarine]

He smiled and rubbed her arm. "Easy there, babe. Do you need anything?" He was still wired, but the edge was off some, thanks to the vodka he'd been sipping as he walked back.

[neverwrongagent]

She could smell the drink on him and between the jumping and that, she was back up off the bed and dashing toward the bathroom. There wasn't anything left, so all she had were dry heaves. Dry heaves were much worse than actual vomiting. She finally sank back on the floor and whimpered as she flushed the toilet. "Fuck!"

[posterboymarine]

He stood in the doorway until she was done, then grabbed the still damp washcloth and knelt next to her. He wiped her forehead with a frown. "Are you sure you're okay?"

[neverwrongagent]

She groaned and leaned into his touch for a moment, then took the cloth from him and held it at her throat. She shrugged slightly. "I will be. It's not supposed to last much longer." Really it should have been over, but with the stress...

She looked over at him to see if he was going to ask any more or if she still had some time to pretend it wasn't happening.

[posterboymarine]

He pondered that for a moment, then decided it was more than he could rightfully handle right then. So he nodded and stood. "I'll bring you your drink."

[neverwrongagent]

She nodded slowly enough that she wouldn't get dizzy again. This really was supposed to pass soon. If it kept going, she was going to be royally annoyed. It didn't occur to her that all the upset of the last few days would have enough to set it off without her constant companion. She leaned against the tub with her head on her knees while she waited for him.

No way she was trying to stand without him.

[posterboymarine]

While he was getting her drink, he took another pull off his bottle. Then he straightened the bed before returning to her. He handed her the bottle and sat on the edge of the tub, waiting until she told him she was ready.

[neverwrongagent]

Rather than getting him to hold her, she used his solid body to push off of. She caught his shoulder when she was all the way up and held it tightly until her belly stopped flipping. She was really over this part. She touched his cheek lightly before heading toward the bed. "Shit. Grab my soda?"

She flopped back down on the be, on top of the covers and groaned deeply. She put her hand over her belly, more to keep it still than out of any affection. "Ugh."