neverwrongagent | This is spying. Isn't it FUN?

Entry tags:

au,
brody,
rp

This is spying. Isn't it FUN?

Brody attending the meeting Walker had so casually mentioned turned into a three ring circus. More than one person involved was convinced the whole thing was a wild goose chase, including Carrie occasionally. If she hadn't seen Walker as up close and personal as she had when they were first rescued, she could have been convinced. Maybe sending Brody to a regular meeting for returning vets who were also Muslim was just a kind of fuck you from a man who felt he'd been betrayed by a brother soldier. Or it could be something much more sinister. The problem was, no one could really figure out what that sinister was supposed to be. Carrie continued to maintain that Brody had no idea what was going on.

The questions Brody faced right after the meeting ranged from if he knew any of the people there already to how was he planning to overthrow the US government. When the questions headed that way a majority of the time, Carrie called foul and got Brody out of there. With full understanding of the irony involved, they had decided that the cover that would work best with his family was that he was working with other vets on integrating back into the world. Carrie would have felt a lot worse about that if it was just being used to cover up them fucking around. She still felt pretty shitty about it given how much stress it was putting on him.

They took their own cars back to her place. She got there before him and immediately opened a fresh bottle of wine, leaving a full glass on the counter for him, then she went upstairs to change into something decidedly less official looking.

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Carrie sank down on her bed with a grunt of pain and frustration. She completely forgave Brody for his outburst, he had it coming. She was going to be flipping out on her own time later. Still, she looked at him with a touch of surprise. "They're watching you. They're watching me. They're listening to us. Did you think they were going to put you out there as an asset and not watch?"

Her voice softened. "Do you think I'd put you out there, in danger, and not make sure we had back up?" She grimaced. "Just because they are singularly useless..."

He was not so easily placated and he needed a way to vent it. Since this wasn't his house, he wasn't about to abuse the walls. So he had nothing left but to go stomping off into the bathroom and slamming the door.

He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment and, scared of the face glaring back at him, did the only thing he could do. He cranked up the shower and climbed in. It was a completely irrational response, but it came back to when he was left rotting in his own stink in that hole in the dessert. He needed to try and get clean, to clear his head.

She was going to need all her doors repaired before this was over. She was also going to need six or seven drinks. And some sleep, but that was just wishful thinking. When she heard the water going, she sagged a little. He was probably cleaning up to go home. She looked down at her wrists where the bruises were starting to blossom.

If things had gone right, she would have run a bath and taken them both into it, maybe with some jazz playing, and talked through everything they'd done and what it meant. She would have reassured him she was okay,that she'd wanted it too. With a groan, she decided that was exactly what she was going to try and have. No one would be able to hear them in the bathroom.

She knocked once on the bathroom door before slipping inside and closing the door behind her. "Nick? I--" She stopped, knowing how the words that were on the tip of her tongue sounded. "I need you. Can I come in?"

He'd had enough time, while she was deciding, to settle some. So when she spoke, the urge to hide has mostly departed. He was still edgy, though, so he took a moment to answer her.

Then he reached out of the shower and held his hand out to her by way of an answer.

Once she was in the water with him, he wrapped her up in his arms and shuddered hard before burying his face in her hair to cry.

She was a little surprised when he gathered her up, then she realized he was crying. She shifted in his arms so she could hold on, too, even more surprised to feel tears on her own cheeks. It was hard not to feel like they were completely alone, like children in a storm. No one else understood why they did what they did, what they meant to each other.

"Needed you since the night we met. Let them take you away once. Promise it won't happen again." She might drive him away with her crazy, the way she did, but that was something else.

He nodded. That was what he needed to hear. That is what he needed, period. The full realization of that nearly brought him to his knees and he held more tightly onto her.

She wasn't feeling much stronger than he and she thought they should go with her original idea. She pulled back enough to touch his face. "Sit down? Let me take care of you?" What she meant was Let me touch you. "We can fill the tub." Getting her jazz would mean leaving him, so that would have to wait.

He nodded and reached around her to shut off the shower. Then he, reluctantly, pulled back from her so that he could sit down. He had his hand out to her when he heard her cell phone ringing.

Carrie groaned deeply. She looked toward her bedroom, where her phone was, and then to him. "Fill the tub. I'm going to answer that, put on some music, then be back." She licked her lips, shivering a little when she hit the split part. "If I don't answer, they'll be back at the door and I really don't want to see Virgil's ugly face again today."

She hated leaving him, but she was sure they would be back if she didn't. She left the bathroom door open when she went for her phone.

He hated being left, but he trusted her to come back. She did, after all, keep coming after him when he left.

Saul was about to send the guys back in if Carrie didn't answer the phone. He'd been briefed and he was not happy.

"Hello, Saul, I'm fine, Saul." Carrie didn't bother with pleasantries because it would take too long. She messed with the mp3 player on her dresser while she waited for him to chastise her.

"Virgil would not agree with that statement. And there was a gun involved? What are you doing there, Carrie?"

"Trying to take a bath." She cursed when the mp3 player didn't go into the base right the first try. Then there was music and she sighed in relief. "My gun, which was locked. And if you really want to know, listen to the tape." She had only the slightest handle on what she was doing, so giving him a decent answer was a bit rough. "We were...communicating. It got physical."

Saul sighed heavily. "Do you need medical attention? Virgil said your throat... Do you need a doctor? Do we need to take him home?"

"Fuck, Saul, seriously? I'm fine." She knew as bad as Virgil made it sound, it would look worse by the time Saul saw it. Her tone softened. "I swear, I'm fine. Bruised up, but fine."

She went to stand in the bathroom door because it couldn't hurt for Brody to hear her say it. "I knew what I was doing, was fine with it. I'm a big girl."

Brody looked up at Carrie coming back to the bathroom door. It was the first time he'd gotten a good look at her and he shuddered before looking away. Just because she said it didn't mean he believed it.

Saul was equally as doubting. "When he leaves, you and I are going to have a talk."

"I'll be sure to come right to you." After a good night's sleep and some make up. "Pinky swear." Without giving him a chance to give her anymore shit, Carrie hung up and set the phone on the dresser. She went immediately to climb into the tub. She was getting cold and she was really done with being away from him.

"Make room, big boy, I'm cold." She climbed in carefully, watching where she stepped.

He made room for her even as he tried to survey the damage clinically. Then he groaned softly. "Jesus, Carrie, I'm sorry."

She settled in his lap, leaning back against him so she could have his arms around her and her head on his shoulder. It also meant she could put his hand on her breast later when they relaxed, something she fully planned on. "Please don't? I'm not sorry."

He held her around the waist and kissed her ear. "They aren't happy, are they?" He knew they weren't, knew that they'd start watching him harder now.

"I've never done that before. I don't know why I did it."

She reached back to caress his cheek. "Fuck 'em. They're chasing their tails and tripping over us." If she thought for a minute that Brody was a bad guy, she'd be much nicer about them, but right now she was just annoyed. Later she might manage embarrassed, but not yet.

"You're angry, frustrated." She shrugged. "Pretty sure you've never been close to the things you're feeling lately before." She turned a little so she could look up at him. "Believe me, I get it."

He met her eyes. "Getting it and wanting it..." He frowned deeply. "I should have asked, not taken. Taking was wrong."

She snorted softly. "You think I couldn't have ended that with a word?" If she'd picked the right one, it would have stopped him. Another would have brought the idiot cavalry right away. "And you did ask. Not in careful, legal like terms, but you asked and I said yes." She shook her head. "I wanted it. Wanted you."

"I don't know that I'll ever really understand why you would want me. I'm broken." He nuzzled at her ear just the same.

She sighed deeply. "No one else understands me." Saul did to a certain extent. Her father and her sister understood other parts, but none of them could offer her the kind of connection he did.

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